Sink or Swim

Well, its a good thing I've started training for this triathlon now, several months out, I can already tell you that.

I vaguely remember taking swimming lessons when I was small. Probably through first or second grade... maybe less, maybe more. I remembered really hating it, but over the years, I'd chalked it up to already feeling awkward around other people in a swimming suit.

I decided to put away my insecurities regarding my current skin condition (which is not contagious, nor has it resulted in open sores) and just go for it today. I knew that the gym I've had a membership to for probably 6 years has a pool, but I've never been.

I packed my new Speedo, goggles, and swimcap and headed to the gym. I had to awkwardly ask if there was access to the pool through the locker room, which I figured there was, but at the same time, I didn't want to wander aimlessly around the locker room or the gym lobby in my swimming suit.

So there we were, me and the pool. Me and my Speedo gear, looking swell. Believe it or not, this suit is probably the most flattering I've worn in years, probably because it isn't exposing my ridiculously pale and unattractive stomach. Spandex is, for the one time in my many years, a dear friend of mine.

Among the rules and regulations includes the following: Those who are unable to swim one lap must stay in the shallow end.

Ha! Hahaha! I thought to myself, "Those fools! Unable to swim a LAP!"

Getting into the water, I put on my goggles, securely suctioning them to my head. I stood in the shallow end and harnessing my chi, I paused for a moment. Then I pushed off.

Aah, how nice and relaxing! Like getting on a bike! No probl- oh goodness, this is kind of difficult, OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!

I made it from one end to the other and then back again, grateful to be not swimming. I stood panting on the side of the pool.

No problem. I could totally do a lap. Doing another, was a horse of a different color.

Girding my loins, I went for it. Each lap kicked my ass more than the one before it. After about 5 or 6 of these, my whole body was crying out for me to stop. The lifeguard, I'm sure, was being given the most excitement he'd encounter all day, probably very sure that I would drown.

So, that being said, I smell like chlorine, and am very tired. But also sort of pumped! I mean, it can only get easier, right?

Twice a week, I'm going to work on this swimming thing. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to do more than one lap at a time in the next few weeks.

Looking back on it, I think the reason I hated swimming lessons so much back in the day was that it sucked. And unfortunately, I wasn't old enough to like it.